wandering the western dream

revitupandgo @ 2008-06-12T18:36:00

2008-06-13T01:37:57Z

"Polo Black" by Ralph Lauren: sex sex being sexy, sex, a hot guy looking sexy = perfume

modern advertisement has officially confused the shit out of me

herds

2008-04-07T14:40:29Z

i wish people lived in herds. a herd is a family and a group of friends you are forced to have. you feel obligated to have their back and you don't know why. its INSTINCT MANNN

deep thought of the morning #2 has been brought to you by : missing the bus, 5-hour energy™, and my favorite musician to ever record with a laptop

my favorite internal monologue of the morning:

2008-03-31T14:18:14Z

"hi, i'm prince. i am a fucking purple god sent from above. i play every instrument in the world, have incredible style, and make the best music you have ever heard."

why do these things come in to my head?
i think since i have an 8 am class now i will try to record all my favorite stupid things i think of in the morning!

oh god yes

2008-03-20T02:51:00Z

i have been in the library for about four hours
i have written five pages of the ten that are due tomorrow at 6pm. jesus christ .
but i'm really excited about making playlists on projectplaylist.com! dork! yeah one of them is on my myspace if anyone CARES! i know i don't! yayy
so, back to privatizing education in mexico and the world bank. oh world bank, i have missed you these few minutes we have been apart.
research papers equals
massive attack
siouxsie and the banshees
depeche mode
mgmt ("are u researching how to be a hipster?!")

i am not.
i am going home tomorrow. should be sailing in smoothly to santa barbara in the late hours of the night. captain arseniy guiding my emo boat to hell.
love you all

ok.

2008-02-28T07:33:56Z

today i decided that marin county is the santa barbara of northern california.
fucking marin kids. how does everyone know each other?

on a slightly different note, but not really: i will be in berkeley/san francisco this weekend. again. and probably the weekend after that. somehow , somewhere in between i will go to school.

to and fro

2008-01-28T23:57:06Z

so today I had to walk around town for a while holding two dirty wooden planks with nails sticking out of them. I am using them for an art project and I had to take them with me on the bus, and to get other supplies.
I wondered why the world was being so cold, and why mothers were steering their children awsay from me. then I looked down and saw two incredibly exposed, decently constructed weapons.

ten gallon

2008-01-28T00:09:35Z

Hollywood really nailed it this year

Long live the American Western!!

i shall be released

2008-01-17T20:59:21Z

today i dipped in the ocean
rode my bike from east side to downtown
took a bus to campus
had two hours worth of interpretive dancing
fell in love with EVERYONE in my class
had a beautiful talk/music playing session on the lawn with some strangers, soon to be friends, and old friends, soon to be gone
then i rode my bike from campus down to my house
when the wind is pressing against you so hard that you feel like you may tip over, and the energy of the ground beneath you in sticking tight to the rubber you are using as legs, a feeling of awe is created
like the feeling of looking out at the ocean. and relaizing this is where you end and the world begins

I could drink a case of you

2007-12-05T06:40:56Z

and still I'd be on my feet.

The weeks are getting shorter, and the move-out date is getting closer.
This weekend I will be writing my last final paper and studying for my last two finals.
The weekend after that I will be visiting my Gramma down south
The Tuesday after that I will be in Berkeley.. until Friday the 21st.
Then back down to Gramma's for Christmas eve.
Somewhere between the 28th of December and the 1st of January I will move to Santa Cruz.
This is all happening a little sooner than it seemed, but I have no choice to hang on tight and ride out the madness
Soon I will be somewhere else, and who knows if it will be any better. But its not here.

The waves are 20 ft.
A few mornings a week I look outside and it almost starts a'rainin'.
That's okay its nice to know that something's changin

Inspirations, have I none. Just to touch the flaming dove

2007-11-21T06:46:52Z

someone is buying my car tomorrow. a nice young guy named andy. poor andy is going to be penniless soon. that car has a hex on it.

lay lady. come to rest by your blade. stay. by the light of a drowning flame.
itching throat is not from smokin greens and brown.
itching more just to live when he aint around.
bad bad bad, bad baby. baby's on his knees. sad sad sad, sad lady. sneakin out while he sleeps.
this choke is not a broken flower at your door. choking, thinking, 'i ain't jokin' anymore

a tease from mother nature

2007-11-12T04:22:25Z

Look out of any window, any morning, any evening, any day.
Maybe the sun is shining, birds are singing,
No rain is falling from a heavy sky.
What do you want me to do, to do for you to see you through?
For this is all a dream we dreamed one afternoon, long ago.

"you got blue balled, honey"

"London? You're a genius!"

I'm excited about my life. Excitement and anxiety go hand in hand. Welcome to world of being completely overwhelmed. most of the time.

i hate you some, i love you some. i love you when i forget about me

2007-10-17T01:11:00Z

Her voice hurts me. Like a cigarette burn on your arm that feels good after you do it.

It also makes me feel free, like my body has become flowy and nonlinear and a piece of the Earth.

And then there are the words. That could humble any poet.

Ah.

josephine

2007-10-03T07:28:34Z

I feel like the last few years have been a little detour. Kind of like that one time I was driving from Santa Barbara to Santa Cruz with Jess and Pyper and we had to get off the 101 and drive through side streets of Santa Maria for an hour because there was construction on the freeway.
I hate to think that I've been spending two years of my life in Santa Maria. But at least they have an In-n-out.

I am going to start working at KCSB on Friday(ucsb college radio). Orientation tonight consisted of the word "nigger" being used three times (?) , and my idea of a psychedelic radio show not really being encouraged. Who wouldn't want to listen to a show where we talk about crazy drug experiences, have trannies as in-studio guests, take calls from lonely listeners and have the trannies readtheir horoscopes, then top it off by playing everything from p-funk to grand funk??? blood, sweat, tears, earth, wind, fire and show tunes thrown in for good measure! It will be a big gay sparkly dance party full of elton john's love babies with donna summer one day and a roll in the mud with the merry pranksters and intersubjectivity the next. ooh! aah! I'll probably be "permanently removed" from the radio station for physically abusing one of the other interns and drinking on air, then fined 350,000 bones for dropping an f-bomb in shock.

I hate this town. This town ain't got no heart.

goodnight weary empress
now your crown is taken and its time to move west.
he went east to find a new bride
helena shines like a lighthouse tonight

anxiety knot

2007-09-29T19:32:10Z

I think a huge part of developing peace within yourself is drawing connections to all of your surroundings and all other people. Love Thy Enemy. Don't walk over and give him a hug so he can stab you in the back, but understand him as a human. We're all the same, everyone deserves the right to be treated like a human being. As I begin to look at life like I am writing an article about it, or basing a screenplay off of it, I draw these connections more and more. I swear my life has themes. It even feels like it has chapters and paragraphs a lot of the time. "This is for the autobiography". Yesterday someone told me they have been looking at life that way. "Would this be good enough to go in my autobiography?" Its weird to decide what details are most important, but at least I have discovered that everyone has a story, you just have to get it out of them, and perceive it in an empathetic way.
I discovered the other night why sometimes its hard for me to listen to music. I guess I listen to hard. I would describe myself as an active rather than passive music listener. Ever lyric and every note, every simple modulation or harmonic rhythm, gets over analyzed and instantly compared to my life and applied to my current or past situation. Sometimes a good pop song is just too good, and it makes me want to cry because I'm proud, envious, and in awe of the fact that a person just like me could compose a piece of art that is so relevant.
That's basically it. In other news, I spent hours researching Bill Graham the other night. I never knew there was a guy I should thank for a lot of things in my life that I love. He basically started the San Francisco music scene, or at least made it possible for it all to happen. Thanks Bill.
With that said... I am waiting for a letter in the mail to tell me what the next move in my life is. Sometimes this all feels like some sort of card game. Gambling with my future. Someone rolls the tumblin' bones and I end up with whatever I get.

freedom

2007-09-27T06:48:27Z

grasp, let us, the concept of equality before the law.
and aretha franklin.
robespierre's total war, terror tactics. how far has the world come since 1794, really?
My brain is overloaded. Last night I had a dream about George Clooney. He's so damn charming. Tonight's dreams should be an interesting mix of grateful dead songs, guitar upstrokes, european dynastic lineage, guillotines, and santa cruz.
Tomorrow is an important day for me. I am starting classes at UCSB. You and me and the devil makes FIVE classes this semester/quarter. I'm on both systems now.
I am trying to make decisions. I've never been very good at figuring life out, but i am good at knowing when I am unhappy. I am temporarily too emotionally barron to even be unhappy, but I know this feeling, and I think I need to act now or forever live with my parents in Santa Barbara. That is exaggerating. But a lot of people get stuck in this town. Livin' at home til they're pushing 30. And beyond. Help!!
I'm thirsty for a little creativity. Intelligence beyond the classroom, youthful energy, some people to sit in circles with me. Bowls, beers, sunsets, and bongos.
Are these silly thoughts? I feel like a lot of people who are a lot less prepared than I am have already made their way to some adventure, a broke and delighted rogue in some nice town somewhere with seasons. Where you can wear a jacket the whole day and not have to bring an extra pair of shoes with you in the car in case it gets too hot to wear boots. Somewhere I could ride my bike and get places. Or drive an old car with stickers all over it that put puts and not be afraid to run into some socialite from elementary school that might turn up their little nosie and run home to tell momma.
Traveling around the country on a train? A dream I have outgrown but still think about everyday.
Moving the hell out of my parents' house? A little more reasonable. This is after all, the age of reason, Tom Paine, so let's blow this joint already!

if you hear any noise its just me and the boys

2007-09-10T08:40:03Z

I love the useful information I spend my days gathering.
I now basically know what would happen if a giant comet hit San Francisco. Most of the water in the bay would vaporize, a sonic boom would destroy all buildings, all bridges would collapse, a giant tsunami would wipe out the remains of the city then travel its way to Hawaii and South America, all cities on the coast of California would be destroyed, a giant hurricane 100x bigger than Katrina would form and then destroy communities around the world, then a mini ice age would start and probably last decades or centuries. I also have a skill for forming extremely long sentences that are grammatically legal.
I know all the strange connections between Blood Sweat & Tears, Lefty Frizzell, Emmylou Harris, Dave Mathews, Johnny Cash, Tim Buckley, and Joni Mitchell.
I learned a lot tonight about Moog synthesizers and their history. Cosmic Sounds by The Zodiac, anyone? Yeeah, I don't own it either.
Electric Flag, besides being a band that is fun to dance to in the mornings, were lead by the same guy who was in the Butterfield Blues Band in the mid sixties. wowie! Also, Al Kooper from Blood Sweat & Tears formed a super duper jam band after he left BS&T that included Mike Bloomfield (the dude from electric flag and butterfield) AND Steven Stills. .. You don't say!

Who the hell needs to know these things? Is there some sort of job I would be good at, using my random information and connections discovering skills?

Department of Motor Vehicles...

2007-08-14T01:03:00Z

Never - GODDAMN - mind

I hate that place.

Maybe Wednesday??

Oh, and if anyone knows of a reliable, economical, CHEAP car for sale, gimme a shout!

built for speed. seriously

2007-08-13T15:32:26Z

gettin' myself back behind the wheel this morning.
its such a joy to look forward to standing in lines and dealing with incompetancy at the dmv. yesss.
anyway, hopefully by later today I'll be hitting the lonesome highway once again!

vrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrr (shifting noises)
(with hand motions)

ciao ciao